Tag: Legal Representation - page 2

Avoiding Conflict During Your Divorce

Posted on January 29, 2015 by Creative Programs and Systems

The entire process of divorce is unpredictable. For many, divorce can feel like death. This is especially true for women who tend to process loss in a completely different manner then men. Women are filled with grief and a feeling of guilt. They feel as if they should have seen this coming and should have been able to fix it before it fell apart. As a divorce attorney one of the first things that we set out to do is to help women accept that their marriage is over and that there is nothing that they could have done to change the outcome.

Women must come to terms that they are simply not meant to be together any longer because they no longer bring happiness to one another. We also help them to understand it is possible to be decent to one another while proceeding through the divorce process. Below you will find some tips to help you, as a women/mother going through a divorce.

It is important to tread lightly and take each step of the divorce process as it comes along. Take time to finalize one relationship before getting involved in another. Your focus should be on transitioning your family unit into two pieces. No matter how cordial you are your ex are the process of divorce is challenging and confusing for all vested parties.

Time should be shared equally while reaching a custody agreement. If you choose not to spend time with your children they will resent you. If you take them away from their father and never allow them time to visit they will resent you. It is important to balance time with your children between the two of you. This will be difficult and may take time to understand but trust that it is beneficial for the unit on whole to keep a united front where your children are concerned.

When it comes to communicating, especially when children are involved, talk face to face, and never place your children in the middle. Talking face to face to one another makes it more difficult to slander one another. It is easy to text negativity to your ex but much more difficult to look someone you once loved in the eye and spew negative comments.

Going through a divorce is never easy. It is important that you seek counsel from a local divorce attorney as soon as you realize reconciliation is not going to occur. A divorce attorney will help guide you through the steps of the divorce process and will lead you to healthy support avenues along the way.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Tips On Surviving The Holiday During Divorce

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

Going through the divorce process is bad enough, let alone having the process takes place during the holiday season. Dividing time with your children is never going to be easy. It becomes especially difficult to be rational when consumed with the emotions of the season. The one thing both parents need to do is realize that whatever is in your children’s best interest is what is in yours. With some compromise from both you and your spouse the holiday season can be one that the children experiences stress free.

It is so important that any talks that are associated with the pending divorce and child custody arrangements are kept to a minimum during the holiday season. Wait until after the holiday passes. The last thing you wish is for your children to forever associate the holidays with their parents’ divorce.

It may be extra hard not to overdo the gifts this year to compensate for what life is throwing at them. That however, is one of the worst things you can do as a parent going through a divorce. Too many gifts won’t make up for the fact that their parents are no longer together and will end up haunting you down the road.

If it is at all possible speak with your spouse about what gifts they are interested in getting the children. It may be incredibly difficult to work together but it will only benefit your children not only in the short term but in the long run as well. If one of you is going to buy the dream house, the other should be in charge of accessorizing. If a play station is going to be purchased then be the one to offer to buy the games. Working together on little things like this will go a long way in your ability to work together through the bigger issues that will arise.

Work as many of the traditions your children are used to into the holiday. If for instance, your spouse’s family does a big dinner Christmas Eve let your children go even if it is your night to be with them. Your children benefit from this not your spouse. Hopefully they will do the same the next time your family has something going on and it is not on your scheduled parenting time.

Work new traditions into this holiday season. It will be different from what the children are used to. Wok to celebrate new opportunities. If your spouse hated the mess of a fresh cut tree, now is your turn to take the kids and chop down a fresh cut Christmas tree. That can be a new tradition that you start and carry on with your children.

The bottom line is that no matter what time of year you are going through a divorce it is going to be difficult for your children. The difference around the holiday is that this is the time of year they were used to spending the most time together as a family. Balance and a positive attitude will help you not only survive the holiday but truly enjoy the season with your children.

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Easing Holiday Stress For Newly Divorced Moms

Posted on November 24, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

The holiday season is one that brings enough stress with it all on its own without worrying about how you will handle certain events with your divorce being finalized. Approaching the holidays after divorce, especially when you have children, doesn’t have to be filled with anxiety. With a bit of preparation and the right mind set the first holiday season without your ex can be the best you have had in a long time.

Some things newly divorced moms worry about is family gatherings, parties of mutual friends and of course Santa’s visit. The one thing to remember is that this is a year of changing traditions. The things you were traditional for you and your family at holidays pasts will be memories to share and enjoy but this year will be about new traditions. Creating a joyful, stress free holiday is the best present two parents can give to their children whether they are married or divorced.

Some couples get along better after their divorce is final. If this is how you are with your ex that it may be just fine to continue to celebrate Christmas morning together so that you are both able to witness the joy of the season that is shared with small children. Santa coming is a big part of a young child’s Christmas and therefore may be one time where you will choose to come together.

If this is not the case and you and your ex are unable to be amicable then spare yourself the stress of the above scenario. Santa can and will visit two separate homes when situations arise that he needs to. If this is the first Christmas in which you will be celebrating separately consider going on vacation or to stay with friends. Gifts from Santa found under a different tree then the one shared with your ex may be just the ticket to make it through this very first Christmas.

To avoid issues when it comes to the two of you making holiday plans including the children make a solid action plan a few weeks in advance. If this is not something that will be easy for the two of you on your own consider meeting with your divorce attorney’s and having a plan drawn up that is recognized by friend of the court. This may be the only solid way that last minute deviations to the plan are avoid and the holiday remains uncomplicated. Never leave things up to the children or adhere to a plan with a wait and see what happens approach. Nothing good comes of this for your children. They will be riddle with anxiety and you will be devastated if your plans are derailed last minute because of plans your ex miscommunicated with you.

Although your kids shouldn’t be left to plan the holiday season their school schedule and personal desires should be kept in mind while creating the grand plan. If your children have always loved cutting a tree down do this with them. This is something that they will enjoy doing more than once within the holiday season. Who is to say that because it was something you did with your ex it isn’t something you can continue to do without them.

Above all remember that the holiday season is all about enjoying quality time with loved ones. This is possible to do, after your divorce! Take a moment to create the holiday season you have always wanted. This year there is no limit or compromise. Plan parties, bake cookies and decorate to the fullest extent.

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Emotions Throughout The Divorce Process

Posted on October 28, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

There are so many emotions that are experienced throughout the divorce process. It is hard to go through the process without feeling a little bit of everything. The hope is that it won’t all hit at one time and that having a better understanding of what you will be experiencing it won’t be as difficult of a process to navigate.

One of the first emotions when going through a divorce is intense anger. It may be that you are trying to convey a mixture of pain, anxiety or irritation that comes out as anger. This feeling of intense wrath is a mechanism we use to shield ourselves. We try to protect ourselves from the vulnerability we are feeling and this is often done using anger. Projecting anger leave us in a state that doesn’t allow us to be discarded once again.

Another emotion that participants in a divorce succumb to is shock. You may be caught completely off guard when you are served with divorce papers. People have been known to be caught off guard; unaware that the troubles in their marriage have led to a request for a divorce. That feeling, the one in which it feels as if someone punched you as hard as they could right in the gut. Your life is going to change, it will be scary and it starts right now.

Another emotion that is often felt is the feeling of rejection and despair. Despair comes from being rejected. The feeling of someone not accepting you brings back feelings in your life of when you have previously been disregarded. Often times when your marriage fails people feel as if they too have failed. You are not damaged goods just because your marriage did not work. Your dreams have not failed; all that has happened is that you need to trade in the old dreams for new ones.

The fear of being alone is something that comes along with divorce. This is especially true if you have been in a relationship for an extended period of time. If you are unfamiliar with spending time by yourself the feeling can be quiet scary and cause you to have an overwhelming level of fear. Trust yourself, it is possible to survive on your own without the help of your partner.

When any change occurs and a new phase of life is about to get underway it can be pretty scary. It is alright to be scared. Being scared is natural. It would be unrealistic to believe that this phase would pass without it.

You will feel quiet bitter towards your partner and others that may be helping them through the process. Seeing your perfect family being ripped apart, thrown into turmoil because your spouse filed for divorce will cause you to be overcome with bitterness. When your partner files you will blame them; you will blame them for an outcome that you feel you don’t deserve.

Allow yourself to go through the myriad of emotions you are sure to feel. There is no right way to process your divorce. A good divorce attorney will offer you referrals for assistance in handling your emotions throughout the entire divorce process. Your divorce attorney will guide you; they are familiar with a process you are not so trust them and their instincts. Hold on tight for the rollercoaster ride you are about to embark upon!

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Dating Tips For Divorced Moms

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for both men and women when going through a divorce. It becomes a reality that life with go on even without the person you have loved for so long in your life. Navigating through divorce and on to life after divorce is something that comes with the territory. One major piece of the puzzle that leaves many in turmoil after their divorce is dating.

Dating after being married to someone for a period of time can prove to be tricky. Being that you have been out of the dating scene for a while it is understandable if those skills have faded into oblivion. Face it, it has been ages since the last time you went out on a date. A decade has past where you have not had to put yourself out there. You will be a bit rusty but you can get back in the dating game with a little help.

First thing first, avoid club hopping at all costs. The men that are at the clubs aren’t looking for anything long term. You set yourself up for instant failure in the dating department when you end up at a night club. What you will find is a one night cheap thrill which is probably the last thing you want. Don’t cheapen yourself when jumping back into the dating world. You will only find what you desire by putting your true self out there. Clubs are an alcohol filled, hormone engulfed environments that can lead you straight into another disaster.

Group dates tend to ease tension and provide a great environment in which to meet new people. It is easier to be yourself and to put your true self out there when you are with people who you already know and whom make you comfortable. Being introduced to men through friends is a great way to find someone that is like minded. Think about the reality of this; friends of friends already have something in common with you. If they are friends with your friends there is an increased likelihood that you are bound to have some things in common.

Another method that is good for women getting back into the dating scene after a divorce is online dating. Avoid free dating sites as these are the ones that have proven to have a fair amount of scammers. Set up an online profile and start slowly. There is nothing that says that you have to meet face to face. Try emailing and talking online for a few months. When you are ready set up a plan to meet one another. Online dating can be a stress free way to start talking with people and learning how to put yourself out there.

If you aren’t up for a traditional dating after your divorce don’t feel pressure to do so. Nothing is wrong with being independent and seeking to be comfortable in your own skin. Put yourself out there and start making friends. Volunteer, start participating in the community or team sport activities; anything to just get you back out into society. When couples get married they tend to forget they are still individuals. Simply put, start dating yourself before worrying about someone else. Put yourself first and trust me the rest will follow in time.

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Moving Forward After Your Divorce

Posted on August 20, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

It is pretty obvious; divorce is not great for your marriage. With the obvious being stated it is important to know that women handle divorce harder than men. Don’t get me wrong divorce is hard for both men and women however truth be told men move on faster. It is tough, but not impossible to overcome divorce. Believe it or not it is actually possible to discover happiness after divorce. If you are a women who is newly divorced it is time to lose the past grief and unhappiness and move towards your future of excitement and happiness.

It is important to understand that you need to move on. I know this can be a bit intimidating but it is essential that you start viewing yourself as an independent, strong women. Moving on does not mean committing to the next relationship that comes around. It means that you should start viewing yourself as a strong independent woman. It also signals that you alone are in control of your happiness. Don’t jump into a relationship. Give yourself the opportunity to move through your divorce and into the happiness you desire.

Think about exactly what you want after your divorce and bring that to your future. Consider your thoughts on not only child custody, alimony and a possible change in location. Consider everything that affects your life after the divorce before you consider updating your relationship status.

Working with your ex is probably the last thing you are considering as you are processing your divorce. However, if you want to be happy this is one way to create it for yourself. Maintain a relationship that allows you to be cordial with your ex. To remain on terms that are at least social allows you to maintain a relationship with your ex that creates an environment that is good for your children and their future. Move towards the future, stop fighting about the past and bringing up past divorce issues.

When it comes to being happy after divorce the most important focus should always be on your children. When it comes to the children you should always focus on keeping their life completely normal. Creating this environment allows you to take your mind off the painful past and to move forward towards a future that creates a life you desire for your children

When it comes to going through a divorce focusing on your children will allow you to see a happiness you forgot was possible. If it takes therapy or seeking advice from a divorce expert move forward with that plan. Do whatever is takes to create a happiness that you experience with your children.

Longton Law

Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Women In Divorce

Divorce Done Amicably

Posted on July 30, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

When you enter into marriage the assumption is that you will stay married until death do you part. No one goes in thinking about the day there marriage will end in divorce however it happens more often than not now a day. If a divorce is eminent in your relationship and you are wondering how you can stay on good terms with your ex read on. Amicable divorces are important especially when children are involved and also when it comes to mutual friends and with the division of assets and liabilities.

The first thing to remember when trying to achieve an amicable divorce is that your children should never be put in the middle of anything. They are the most important thing that you and your spouse have in common. They will always be something that you created and share together. Your children will be affected by your divorce enough as is don’t add to it by making them a part of any decisions that need to be made. Sit down and discuss a custody arrangement that works to meet both of your needs as parents remembering that your children will thrive in a situation where both parents stay equally involved in their lives. Consistency is the key when it comes to arranging a working situation and plentiful relationship with your children. A situation that is feasible for both partners will benefit your children.

When going through a divorce consider dividing the assets rationally and as peacefully as possible. When you actually sit to discuss what each of you wants and don’t want you may be surprised to find that this is an easier process than you ever thought. Your spouse may have agreed to a dog to make you and the kids happy but has no interest in keeping the pet you love so dearly. The same can be said for tangible household items and cars. Your spouse may have bought certain items to make you happy and therefore there is not any attachment to the object therefore making it easy to surrender. Of course there will be items you both hold dear; think about the division of these assets in consideration with the larger picture. This process will be a lot of give and take. The same process can be achieved with liabilities as well.

Even if you know that the divorce is going to happen counseling can still help especially when it comes to splitting on good terms. A counselor offers a safe environment to speak from the heart and talk about your shared experiences from your prospective. This process can help you understand where your spouse is coming from and vise versa.

If you are planning on staying friendly with one another it is important that you hold your tongue; this is especially important in front of family and friends. Nothing good ever comes from speaking ill of your spouse so it is best to just keep those thoughts to yourself. When you are choosing to stay in contact and on peaceful terms with your spouse speaking negatively will not help nurture the relationship you are hoping for. When it comes to your children really keep your negative feelings and thoughts to yourself. When you and your ex disagree on situations regarding the children it is best to talk about those issues in private. Your children, family and friends should not be privy to this information; issues should be kept private and dealt with in a civil manner between you and your ex only. This will keep your divorce and relationship more peaceful overtime.

Longton Law

48146 Lincoln Park, Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Attorney For Women, Legal Representation, MI Divorce, Moms Rights in Divorce, Rockwood Michigan 48173, Women In Divorce

Getting Set Financially After Divorce

Posted on June 18, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

When it comes to divorce the reality is that it does not matter who filed it will be an incredibly difficult time in your life. It is important that, as a woman, that you get yourself set financially. If you file, if he files it is all the same, you need to get yourself in a position that you will be able to support yourself and your children with or without the help of your ex. When it comes to the dos and don’ts of finances in divorce there are a few tips to take into consideration either before you file for divorce or right away after he has filed.

First things first, head to the bank and separate all of your joint bank accounts. When separating accounts it is best to start fresh at a new bank for your personal accounts. This is important as it protects you and keeps your accounts protected. When separating be careful as greed often sets in along with the urge to wipe out all financial assets. This is easily avoided by creating your own personal account. Even in the most amicable of divorces financial issues arise. Do not assume because you are getting along for the moment and acting like mature adults that your divorce will continue down the same path.

The next financial aspect that needs to be looked after is joint credit cards. It is important to call creditors where joint accounts exist and explain that you are going through the divorce process. You will want to cancel all joint accounts while opening one in your own name. Don’t wait on this. As your mate is beginning a new life it may seem reasonable to them to charge their expenses during the divorce. If this occurs you are on the hook for at least half of this joint debt.

It is a good idea to start keeping track of any and all money that is being spent in a financial journal. If you have kept track in writing and have a good solid record of receipts it gives you credit when explaining your living expenses during the divorce. This gives your attorney the edge when discussing how joint money has been spent throughout the process and helps to make sure remaining funds are divided fairly.

When you are certain a separation and divorce is inevitable start writing down a list of questions you need addressed. As it is when you go to visit the doctor, your brain goes stale when it comes time to get answers to the thousands of questions you have. Keeping track along the way will help ensure everything is covered and addressed with your divorce attorney.

When looking to find a divorce attorney that specializes in women’s needs in divorce it is important that you look at their record in court and mediation. As with any professional services that are sought feel free to ask for referrals. Attorney consultations are often free. Meet with several attorneys that specialize in women going through the divorce and get a feel for how each will represent your needs throughout the divorce. You will be working one on one with this person to achieve a post divorce life so be sure you are comfortable discussing everything with this person. Unfortunately, your entire life is on display when going through a divorce.

Longton Law

Trusting Your Instincts In Divorce

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

When women begin to consider divorce or start the process of filing for divorce they begin to receive lots of unwanted advice. The same thing happens to women throughout life I suppose. Consider when you first announced you were getting married, having a baby, quitting your job to stay home with your children; you name it when it involves your family and personal decisions you need to make everyone has an opinion. That is just one of the funny parts of life.

The best advice is advice not given. When it comes to your divorce, just like your marriage, it will be unique to you and so will your experiences as you proceed. There are some tips that may or may not apply to your situation. It is best to decide for yourself your next move. Do research on your own about divorce. This will help lead you into a position that allows you to think for yourself without being swayed by the tips or opinions of bitter divorcees.

When divorce is initially considered or thought of it is a good idea to meet with an attorney that specializes in women’s divorces. Find an attorney that comes with a solid reputation for defending women’s rights in divorce as well as child custody and support. Most often the initial consultation with the attorney is free even if this is not the case one hour of time with an attorney will allow you to get a good feel for their practice as well as their reputation. You will want to be comfortable with this person as you will be sharing incredibly intimate details of your marriage with them.

During this first initial meeting with a divorce attorney you should get a basic understanding on the divorce laws of your state. Each state is different when it comes to divorce laws. It is crucial to understand the laws of your state and how they apply to your situation. During this meeting you will also want to get information about attorney fees, mediation and different parenting agreements that are applicable to your situation.

Some divorces are fairly amicable and can be settled through mediation. Your divorce attorney should accompany you to any meetings set by the mediator. This is important to help protect you and your rights. Even when divorce is amicable doesn’t mean that your ex-husbands attorney will play fairly. Never sign or agree to anything involving your divorce without the advice of your divorce council present.

Before you leave the residence you share with your spouse check with your attorney. This is a decision that should not be made in haste. There are real implications when it comes to leaving the marital home during a divorce. If you find you are concerned for your safety or the safety of your children you should seek out a personal protection order, otherwise known as a PPO, or restraining order while things are settled with your divorce.

In the next installment on divorce we will look into more tips and strategies for you to investigate as you move through the divorce process. Remember one size does not fit all when you are considering a divorce and your divorce proceedings are meant to fit you.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com

Handling Your Divorce In Your Own Way

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Creative Programs and Systems

In our first installment regarding tips for your divorce we talked about the importance of looking out for yourself and not taking advice from other divorcees as it may not fit your divorce. We discussed looking as your divorce as its own separate entity as it is unique to you, your marriage and your situation.

A lot of times you will hear people that claim their divorce was completely amicable and they were able to settle without issue through mediation. While this sounds like a wonderful fantasy of what divorce can be it is the most likely a just that, a fantasy. No matter how cooperative you and your spouse are with each other there are bound to be phases throughout the divorce that you don’t see eye to eye. This is especially true when it comes to children and issues relating to parenting time and child support.

This is not to say that you can’t find peace in divorce and throughout yours however know that it is okay if your divorce doesn’t have a fairy tale ending. Your marriage wasn’t a fairy tale so why it is assumed that the divorce should be one is a mystery. Whenever you have third parties involved your divorce becomes trickier. This third party can be an attorney, a new love interest, children or family. When you start involving more people, more opinions come into play and with this come more aggravations. You will never be able to please everyone and in your divorce the only person you need to be concerned with pleasing is yourself while providing a best interest for your child.

When it comes to filing for divorce or being served with divorce papers one thing is true; you will never be as prepared as you will want to be. Once the situation has begun it is important to prepare yourself. Get together a list of important names and numbers that you may need in the future. You will want to also start putting together a list that includes handyman service providers, mechanics, tax preparers as well as any service you were not familiar with in your as wife and mother.

Consider finding something new outside of your divorce to learn and throw yourself into. You will find that you have spare time on your hand. The last thing that is healthy for you or for your family is to sit around and think too much. Be proactive, find something new to do. It can be something as simple as learning how to do small repairs on your car or home. Try anything to occupy your mind and gain knowledge that you didn’t previously have. Start learning about budgeting and retirement as this something you will have to reevaluate now that you may be doing this on your own.

Did your heart skip a beat when you thought about that last statement? Only let that happen this once. Strap on your big girl shoes and get on living your new life and letting go of your old life as you proceed through your divorce.