Tag: Award of Divorce

When your marriage ends one life ends and a new one begins.  The problem is that not everyone is ready for this to happen.  Sometimes one partner in the marriage was not willing to accept that the marriage was ending and therefore the process of moving on and letting go of the past is more difficult than it should be. Below you will find some tips on letting go, moving on, jump starting your future and finding peace.

First things first; come clean with all of your emotions and realize that your life will continue after the end of your marriage.  The feelings that you will have guarantee to run the gamut of emotions as well as to change frequently.  You naturally will feel blame, pity, anger, worthlessness and insecure.  On another spectrum you may feel free, liberated, useful and unrestricted.  How you feel is uniquely personal. Feel what you feel.  It is okay to go through each emotion feeling it completely.  It is also perfectly normal to let it go.  Eventually you will come to the point where your marriage and divorce no longer defines you and you will understand that your marriage will be like a cruise; something you did once before a long time ago.

Some people I meet with you are on the verge of filing for divorce are hanging on out of fear of being alone.  Before there were two you were one and believe it or not you survived.  Just as you have done in the past you will survive on your own.  Being in a broken marriage is far lonelier than actually being on your own and creating a new life for yourself.  It is reasonable to grieve for your loss or the marriage that you assumed you would be in however as with grieving in death there will come a time when you can start to move forward.

The next step may seem impossible at first but is as necessary as any.  Make time to allow yourself to feel good.  Stop burning daylight and get on course to living your new life; a life that you create where you can do or be anything you put your mind to. This will hit you like a ton of bricks.  You won’t notice it happening but one day it will have happened and it will hit you.  All of a sudden you will be living a meaningful, productive life.  You will find yourself taking time in the morning making yourself feel good, you will wear clothing to feel good and that makes you feel attractive.  Be it trying a new sport, wearing a new style of clothes or finally cutting your hair is a style you never contemplated before you will find yourself living life for yourself and no one else. You will have found time to be you and you will feel good about it.

In our next installment on life after divorce we will focus on accepting the next step and jump starting your future now that you have accepted your marriage is over and you are on to living for yourself.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.

In our last installment on marriage and divorce we talked a lot about learning to accept that your marriage has ended and that a new life awaits you.  We discussed taking steps that create a life worth living and one that is focused on making yourself happy.  Finally feeling worthy of feeling good is something that may take some time but when it finally happens and it hits you the sensation is one that you will want to experience more frequently and bring to your everyday life experiences.

When you feel fulfilled in yourself what happens naturally is that people begin to be drawn to you.  You may find yourself surrounded with more friends than ever before and dating prospects will start to flow through at a constant pace.  This may be strange and overwhelming at first although it is important to know that this too is a piece of the puzzle; this part is your future.

Your future still contains pieces of your past. It is possible and vital that you encompass both parts of your life past, present and future into one.  This starts will developing a relationship with your ex especially when children are involved.  The relationship that you have in the future will be and should be so utterly different from your past relationship.  Create a working partnership focused solely on the kids. Your new relationships with other have no basis on your relationship with each other or your children.  It is possible to separate the two and at the beginning is necessary.

Your kids are so important.  I will never say the most important thing in your life because it is always important that self-preservation take a front seat in creating a life you are excited to live.  Most marriages focus too much energy on the happiness of their children therefore leading to demise.  This is why I believe that your children and their feeling are important however separate for the time being from your self-preservation.  When you are with your kids be with them fully.  Spend time with them, do homework with them, don’t allow for outside interruption.  This is most important or the first year following your divorce.  I am not saying they shouldn’t see you happy or hear about your happiness just don’t involve them in any partnership that may be involved in bringing you this happiness.

Make time for you time, personal time and kid time.  This may be the problem you found in your first marriage is that you didn’t have time enough for each individual facet of your life.  This is a mistake that needs to be avoided as your create a future you are excited about living.  When you are married you often find yourself living a life of compromise.  One of the nice parts about your divorce being over and your future being ahead of you is that you get to choose how to live it.  It is important that you take this time to do just that; go live the life that makes you excited about living again!

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.