Livingston Reporting - page 293

Overcoming The Demise Of Your Marriage

It is funny that many people believe men make out better when going through a divorce.  We often hear something about men being stronger able to move on faster than their sensitive counterpart.  This of course is untrue.  Many men have a more difficult time when going through a divorce as they feel that as the provider and the man of the family they should have been able to fix the problems. Often time’s men give in when it comes to going through a divorce and many end up starting from square one when it is all over. What men in divorce need to realize is that it is too late to fix what was broken and now they really need to focus on not getting taken advantage of when struggling through the process of divorce. Below are some tips to help any man having a hard time processing the “right” things to do when getting a divorce.

It is common that men will get caught in a woe is me trap especially when their wife is the one who initiated the demise of their marriage.  This is one of the most important things to overcome and the sooner the better.  Yes, you need time to grieve that the happiness that you once felt is gone but you also need to realize that you will feel it again sometime soon.  Meet with a professional to talk your feelings through.  The tips that they can provide you with will help you cope and allow you the peace of mind you will need throughout the process.

It is also important that you immediately find legal representation of your own when a divorce is initiated. Men often feel a misguided sense of loyalty, especially financially.  A lot of men end up in financial ruin because of this.  When you retain a divorce attorney they will be able to help you with what is appropriate and what is too much when it comes to financial negations and obligations.  This will help to ensure that you as well end up with resources at the end of the divorce and can provide for your own needs in the same manner you are accustomed to as well.

It is important that when you meet with the attorney that you are completely honest about all the assets and liabilities that your family has.  Never try to hide assets thinking they won’t be uncovered.  This will make you look bad and it will be more difficult for the judge to look at you in an impartially manner after that.

It is also difficult for some men to be alone leading them to jump into a relationship before the divorce is even finalized.  This is something that is not recommended as well.  Don’t panic, you won’t be alone forever.  Give yourself time however to deal with the end of one relationship before adding the stress of another to your plate.  Being on your own and thinking for your self will not result in the world ending.  It may also give you a new perspective on who you are verses who you became to try to make your marriage work.

It is never easy to go through a divorce no matter if you are a man or a women.  It is difficult to realize that you’re happily ever after is over but the sooner you get on board with the tips above the better off you will be when you have discovered happiness once again.

 

Regaining Your Life After Divorce

Getting over a divorce is a long road for both men and women.  When it comes to women going through a divorce they are more apt, no matter how horrible the marriage was, to try to put life back together the way it was.  Women tend to fear change, the unknown and being alone.  If you are a women resisting the truth of your divorce read on as the information contained in this article will help you come to a place of peace with what is happening and allow you to begin again.

 

It is easy to over think a lot of things as women.  It is also easy to want to fix anything and everything within reach.  In your mind a divorce is fixable and this is where you are incorrect.  Once a divorce has been decided upon it is over.  Don’t blame yourself and don’t put the entire fault on yourself.  There is nothing wrong with you and your divorce is not your fault.  No one is the perfect wife or mother and even if you were there is nothing that guarantees the end result would not be the same as where you are now.  All of these thoughts are in your head.  You think having these thoughts will help you cope however this is not the case.

 

What needs to happen to move you past this point is to accept that it is not feasible for you to control every event that occurs within your life?  Once this happens, once you realize that you cannot accept the blame for the demise of your marriage you will realize too that it is not up to you or even possible for you to repair what is broken.  The factors of your martial break up are out of your control.  You cannot control how your ex-husband thinks and feels you cannot repair him.  It is significant that you come to realize this sooner than later so that you are able to move on and stop trying to fix something that is impossible to repair.

 

Once you get here the next step is learning who you are, finding your own way and teaching yourself how to make decisions on your own once again.  For years you have been compromising and taking into consideration someone else’s needs and desires.  This will no longer be the case.  You will need to learn how to think for yourself and only your interests.  As exciting as this sounds and no matter how ready you are to embrace this it is a whole lot tougher than one would think.

 

Regaining an opinion is something that you will want to take time to learn how to do again.  The best way to establish some boundaries to begin to think again for yourself is to start simple.  Purchase a journal and take time to explore the things in your life that you clearly don’t want.  Sometimes it is simpler to start with the things we are sure don’t represent the life we are interested in leading.  Once you have a substantial list of the things you don’t want in your knew life comes the hard part.  For everything you don’t want make a specific page for the exact opposite of that; this will represent all the things in life you do want.  Now you can continue to fill each page with things that fall under what makes you happy and what you want.

 

The last thing is to throw away the image you have of yourself as someone’s wife.  Create a new image of who you are.  Look in the mirror, throw some rocks in the water, and discover exactly who you are all over again.  Many women marry young and lose their identity along the way.

 

The “I” becomes “we” and “you” become “us”.  Once you see yourself as a unique individual once again you will be shocked at all the things you had compromised along the way.  Maybe you took of fishing to spend time with your mate but in reality that is the last thing in the entire world you would ever do on your own.  Gather a new foundation based solely on your wants, needs and desires for your future.   In the end you can truly end up a better person than you ever were before when your needs are finally being met especially when you are the one allowing that to happen.

 

Feeling Your Way Through The Process Of Divorce

For women going through the divorce process regular everyday life can become hard to figure out.  Most women get married early in life before they have had time to truly find their own identity.  This makes it extremely hard when the only thing that has identified you for years, your husband and children are suddenly not the same.  When you have given up everything and are left without anything a mix of emotions can run through you: anger, fear, betrayal, sadness and depression.

Going from living with your family and having other people in on every decision that is made to being the sole decision maker is frightening.  At first it will be difficult to adjust to deciding things on your own for you and for your children but with time and a few tweaks and adjustments in your thought process you will come out just fine in time.

 Divorce does give you a sense of freedom you may not have ever had before.  This is especially true in cases that joint custody has been arranged.  Every other week you are on your own.  Breathe!  At first this is a very scary and unique feeling.  It is one that has never been experienced prior to the divorce. Coming home to a house without anyone else in it can soon become liberating.  You don’t have to rush home from work as no one is waiting upon you for dinner.  You can stop at the book store, get take out and sit in a long hot bath for the entire night.  No one but you is responsible for your decisions any longer.

Yes, women will feel sadness, disappointment and hurt when going through a divorce.  This is a very natural feeling and in time will lessen.  Whether you wanted a divorce or not will not matter.  You will feel let down, either by the way he treated you throughout the marriage or because you could fix it and make the dream a reality.  It will hit you like a brick.  Some days you will think you are perfectly fine and then wham; it will hit you that you are no longer married.

At times you will feel incredibly angry.  You are now on your own financially on your own and are left with the majority of responsibility when it comes to your children.  Anger is a real fierce emotion and you will experience it for a while.  Take time to be angry just make sure that you do this on your own time and not when your children are around.

Yes, it is easy to be angry when you are paying bills, doing dishes, folding laundry and carpooling all alone but this is never a child’s fault.  Anger should be placed in the right direction.  Perhaps now is the time to find a support system to release some of these built up emotions?

The hard part when it comes to divorce is your experience will be completely unique to you.  No one will be able to predict the emotions you will go through during the course of your divorce and for a period of time after.  Let these feeling come and go as they will.  As time goes on you will begin to heal and will find that the emotions have run their course.  You will feel normal once again. It is only a matter of time.  There is no right way or wrong way to process your emotions.

Just be sure to keep yourself happy and healthy for your children and for yourself.  The sooner these emotions take over your life the sooner you will be back on track to living free from the chaos of your divorce.

 

Improvements In Vision Correction

The history of vision correction is vast and complex.  Before the invention on contact lenses people relied on glasses to correct imperfections in their eyesight.  Today, contacts have become the norm and LASIK eye surgery is replacing them.  There are advantages and disadvantages to each method in correcting vision and the choices become even more increasing difficult to decide upon when it comes to our children’s vision.

 

Today glasses are seen mostly as a hindrance.  Glasses are a good source of vision correction but viewed by many as an inconvenient method of vision correction.  The advantage of wearing glasses is the ease at which you can transition from wearing them to not wearing them.  They are also readily available and have become reasonable to purchase.  They also can be seen as a fashion statement. Glasses are also easy for children to be in charge of.  The disadvantages of glasses are plentiful as well. Keeping glasses clean and scratch free is often hard for even the most careful wearer let alone a child in glasses.  They are also bulky when playing sports and can act as a blind spot for some.  Losing track of glasses is also common especially when dealing with children.

 

Contacts have been a rite of passage for many children as they become teens.  With contacts comes the great responsibility to care for them.  In caring for your contacts you are essentially caring for your eyes.  Bacteria and germs are more susceptible to be passed to the eye with the use of contacts. Contact lenses must be cleaned and maintained daily to prevent infections within the eye.  This is why most of the time children are not trusted with contact lenses.  If a child prefers contacts over glasses often caregivers will choose daily contacts in which the same pair is not worn twice.

 

Contacts have many advantages over glasses.  It is easy to forget about your contacts and not worry about them for the entire day.  With glasses you have to maintain their cleanliness throughout the day. They allow complete, clear vision in which there is no blind spot.  Contacts are also affordable and can be purchased in a multitude of styles and quantities. The disadvantage of wearing contacts is that they need daily maintenance and need to be removed nightly before bed.  For some this can be seen as a disadvantage but for others it is an advantage over the constant worry and concern over scratching the lens of your glasses.

 

Today in vision correction options we have available to us LASIK eye surgery.  This is a more permanent way to handle vision correction.  Whether LASIK can be performed to correct a child vision is very situational.  Eye sight does tend to change more drastically in younger eyes.  When considering LASIK on a child it is best to meet with several eye surgeons to determine if such an approach is beneficial or if time will benefit the child. In most cases, unless incredibly severe vision loss is present it will be recommended to wait on LASIK until a child has reached adulthood.

 

LASIK in adults however is seen as a game changer for many struggling with a vision impairment.  LASIK is a lifestyle changer.  No longer is the concern of bringing a ton of eye lens chemicals with you on vacation or that spare pair of glasses just encase, LASIK eye surgery offers complete eye correction and eliminated the reliance on contacts or glasses. With today’s technology LASIK eye correction surgery can be performed with minimal downtime on eyes affected with a range of severity.  For more information and to see if you are a perfect candidate for LASIK contact a local LASIK eye surgeon for a consultation.

 

A Variety Of Options In Pocket Knives

Nothing is manlier than owning a pocket knife.  When you think of the essentials in a man’s life and the items they carry with them on a day to day bases you think pocket knife, wallet and car keys.  That’s it; that is truly how simple it is when you are a man.

The pocket knife has been a staple since first world soldiers and explorers went on exploration and conquests.  It was made in such a way that it could be carried easily, which is why pocket knives continue to be popular today.  Colonial Americans flourished the pocket knives popularity and everyone from farm hands to businessmen was carrying this convenient tool to aid in a variety of tasks.  Soldiers continued to carry pocket knives as an essential tool throughout the several wars in America’s history.

The pocket knife has been a staple in the pockets of American men for generations.  One issue that we face today is the extinction of the casualness in which we can carry a pocket knife.  With recent restrictions on airline flights and entering governmental buildings both state & federal, the pocket knife risks a downturn in popularity.

It is important to remember even while being limited in certain situations men must continue to carry pocket knives.  The reasons are plentiful.  There are so many times a day in everyday life where using a pocket knife has become common practice.  When you are opening a package that has come in the mail it is always taped beyond what we are humanly able to open with our bare hands.  A pocket knife is necessary for this situation.

The list is long but a pocket knife is crucial in a multitude of simple tasks we accomplish every day.  From opening letters to cutting fishing line a small knife that is conveniently located in your pocket is indispensible.

The hard part comes at choosing the style that will live in your pocket.  The three most popular options include; the jack knife, the pen knife and the multi-purpose knife.  Each different style of pocket knife has advantages and certain features that me more desirable to you than others.

For instance a jack knife is an incredibly simple knife.  It is hinged at one end and may have more than one blade.  Jack knives are a popular option for the outdoorsman for hunters, fishers and hikers.

A pen knife is hinged at two ends and has two or three blades at each end.  The original purpose of a pen knife, as its name conveys, was to sharpen and cut quills for writing. A pen knife should be considered if you are interested in using more than one type of blade.  The pen knife is lightweight and is easily disguised even when dressed up.

Finally the multi-purpose pocket knife which as it name implies is used for a multitude of purposes.  Often a multi-purpose knife is referred to as a Swiss Army knife.  This knife is not for the user only in search of one small blade.  Usually a multi-purpose knife has several tools that enclose into the pocket sized knife such as scissors, tweezers, screwdrivers and even utensils.

Finding the perfect pocket knife is an individual conquest.  Often, a pocket knife is handed down from generation to generation.  However if you are in search of a new pocket knife to use, several online retailers offer a substantial selection at affordable prices making it convenient to have a pocket knife delivered right to your door.

Finding A Quality Knife For Skinning

If you want to start a controversy among hunters a sure fire way to do this is by asking which company makes the best, finish the sentence.  Every hunter, fisher and outdoors man alive is sure that they know the best rod, the best gun, the best shells to use and the list goes on.  So when I was asked recently what my preference was when it came to skinning knives I bit my tongue at first.  I am not one to start an issue over my preferences in hunting tools because it is my belief that all tools have the ability to work given the right user.  I think that every tool can perform the job it is set out to do but of course some will work better than others when paired with the correct user.

 

When it comes to skinning tools I do have preferences but I do agree that pretty much any animal can be skinned using most any knife or tool for that matter.  Some tools will make the job easier but let’s be honest in a life and death situation the toe nail clippers on my Victorinox Swiss Army knife if I needed to. It is imperative to remember that there is not one perfect gun, knife, sleeping bag or any tool for that matter that will be considered the ultimate by everyone.  Choosing the right skinning knife will depend on you the end user.  There are some measurements that will help you want to take into consideration though when buying a knife to be used in skinning.

 

The first thing consumers should consider when purchasing a knife to be used for skinning is the blade.  Blade qualities to consider are the hardness of the blade and the material used to create the blade. When it comes to the hardness of the blade remember the harder the blade the longer the edge will be held however, it also makes sharpening the blade more difficult. A softer blade is easily made razor sharp though is more easily dulled especially when skinning animals with thick fur. When it comes the blades metal stainless steel and carbon steel are both popular options.  Stainless steel requires less maintenance however are on the harder side is carbon steel which needs proper maintenance to prevent rust and discoloration.

 

The point of the blade is also important.  Some people prefer a drop point or a clip point.  Basically the only thing to consider when it comes to the knife blade is the will it puncture the skin, slice the skin and slice the membranes between the muscle and skin cleanly.  This may take some practice to determine the exact technique you will choose to perfect.

 

The size of the blade is something to consider as well. Bigger isn’t always better when it comes to a skinning knife and really neither is smaller.  Consider a mid-sized knife when looking for an all-purpose skinning knife.  A large skinning knife on a small animal or a small skinning knife on a large animal just doesn’t make sense.  If you are only going to have one knife in your collection the choice is simple, a mid-sized knife blade.

 

The main thing any outdoors man needs to remember when purchasing any knife is how it works for them as an individual. Price, style, blade material and the works won’t matter if the knife isn’t perfect for you.  A skinning knife is so important is ensuring the quality of the meat in the end.  Choose wisely.

 

Take A Knife With You On Your Next Outdoor Adventure

It is almost that time a year again when we all start to think about getting out into the great outdoors once again.  Whether your passion is hunting, hiking, camping, kayaking, fishing or one of the many other adventures that come with warm weather it is wise to start thinking about purchasing a knife you can carry with you.  A knife is an all-purpose tool that can be used for safety, but for a variety of everyday tasks as well.  For an inexperienced shopper it can be an intimidating undertaking without a little knowledge of knives to take with you.

 

There are a multitude of knife styles to choose from starting with fixed blade knife. A fixed blade knife is one of the sturdiest, most durable styles of knives.  A fixed blade knife can easily be carried using a sheath attached to a boot or belt.  This style of knife is great for any outdoors man but is especially helpful to paddlers and survivalists as it is incredibly handy.  It can be released from its sheath in a hurry allowing cord, webbing or small brush to be cleared instantly.

 

Another style of knife is the folding blade knife.  Most folding knives have a locking mechanism in place to ensure that the knife doesn’t release unexpectedly. Folding knives come in a variety of lengths and offer a great deal of versatility.  Small folding knives, such as pocket knives are easily carried whereas larger folding knives can be stored easily in a pack. Some claim that the folding blade is not as durable as a fixed blade knife however with all the latest developments in knife technology this is highly debatable.  Fixed knife blades also can include multiple tools that easily fold into themselves giving you a variety of easy to use tools.  This is great for bikers as you never know when you will need a wrench or screwdriver out of the trails.

 

Blade type is also something to consider when purchasing a knife.  There are three basic styles to choose from including: straight blades, serrated blades and a combination.  As with anything each blade type has advantages and disadvantages.

 

A straight blade knife is a super nice tool as it is easy to sharpen and keep an edge on.  Straight knife blades are great for cutting and make any meal easier especially when hiking or camping. Serrated edges have teeth built into the blade, much like a saw blade but not as enhanced.  The teeth make this blade much easier to cut through bone, rope and limbs.  It is also much more difficult to sharpen.  A combination blade offers the advantages of both styles.  The activity that you are partaking in should be considered when choosing a blade type.

 

The good thing about purchasing a knife is that it is a versatile tool that does not have to break the bank.  You can purchase several knives and depending on the activity you are embarking on choose what to carry with you.

 

The Countdown to Selling Your Home: Step Three – The Final Step

After much preparation you are finally here; the final steps in actually selling your house.  By this point you have gathered all the paperwork, prepped the home, researched pricing and are ready to add the sign to your yard.  Your realtor will be right by your side each step of the way.  Within the last two weeks before you officially add your home to the market the push from the realtor will be staging.

Staging your home for sale is a whole lot easier than it sounds.  Especially because your real estate agent has done this process so many times before and can truly give you sound advice on what buyers want to see when they enter a space.  Staging is a three step process.  You first start by eliminating clutter, then cleaning and finally staging your space.

Eliminating clutter is a difficult step in the process as you still need to live in the space as you sell your home.  Many times the clutter found within the home is the stuff that also makes the home livable.  When we are talking about reducing clutter we are talking about the minor stuff like school bags but mainly the stuff within the space that screams to other that this house is yours.  Buyers want to enter your home and feel themselves in the space.  If the only thing that they see is you and your family everywhere they turn this will turn them off.

When it comes to removing clutter the best option is to have your realtor or another outside party come in and help.  They are impartial and can come in and quickly eye pieces that should be packed and put in to storage.  For instance, if you are a collector of crabs within a kitchen space, when identifying you your friends probably think about crabs.  When a buyer comes in those things that identify you to the space need to be removed and more neutral things put into place.  The goal is to allow the buyer to visualize themselves in the space.  The more of you left in the space the harder this is to accomplish.

Next comes cleaning.  If this is not something that you are within your expertise hire a cleaning company to come in and hit your house hard.  You will want all the windows, door walls, molding, cupboards, appliances and so forth cleaner than they would be if the buyer was looking at a brand new home. The house should appear like it is ready to move your stuff out and theirs in.  Clean is important!

The staging process is next.  Take out any furniture that takes away from showcasing how roomy the space is.  Eliminate any pieces that bring to much focus on to them.  Large furniture draws away from the space.  If needed put your furniture in storage and rent more space friendly pieces.  Your realtor will help you layout the furniture in a way that enhances the space and makes it buyer friendly.

The final step to selling your home is list it on the market, wait for buyers to roll in, negotiate a reasonable offer and close.  Using a local realtor often leads to a quicker sale as they are experts in highlighting your home, neighborhood and community.  Realtors will market your home in a variety of ways to attract the type of buyers interested in exactly what your home offers.  If you are selling a home on water, you market to lake front buyers.  The same can be said for homes on golf courses and farms.  Your real estate team will market your home to the right buyer; your job is to ensure they can visualize themselves in your home without putting in too much sweat equity.

The Countdown to Selling Your Home: Step Two

The countdown is on.  You have made it through the processes involved in phase one.  You have taken time to set up a realistic budget, analyzed the cost of selling verse equity and have obtained all the key documentation needed for the sale; now what?  After you have done all cosmetic and functional repairs and downplayed the issues that you can’t fix it is time to move on to the next step.

With one month to go before you officially list your house on the market you will find yourself busy in research.  With your realtor, the month’s goal will be to obtain a reasonable asking price for your home.  There is a lot that needs to be taken into consideration when determining exactly what you need to ask for your home.  The first is the local housing market.  You must establish the pricing at which similar homes in the area have actually been selling for.

This is where the process becomes a bit tricky.  It seems simple, take what you bought your home for add the cost of the improvements you have made and calculate the appreciation value found in similar homes for sale in the area and wham there you have it; the magic number, the asking price. Here is the problem, plain and simple market conditions are often uneven.

In recent years we have seen an amazing amount of change in the housing market.  With homes selling for a significant amount less than what they are valued at due to the increasing in foreclosures and short sales.  This can drive the market down in your area a solid thirty percent.  With this in mind you will want to assess the fair market value for your home.  There are several things to take into consideration when determining the fair market value over an asking price.

The first thing you need to do is look at the actual sale price of properties sold in the area.  This can be done through local property records that are open to the public.  This will be an accurate account for the amount of money that is passing from one party to the next in the sale of comparable homes in the area.

The next step is to get the top of the line estimates of home values of homes that have sold in the area.  You can do this by looking on sites such as Zilllow or Trulia. These sites will give the outer most prices at which the houses in the area would go for.  This is the top of the line price for homes in your area.

From here it is important to get an actual appraisal for the home.  An appraiser will take into consideration things like a new water heater, new roofing and upgrades that have been done within the home.  This is nice to do as well because they can also point you into the direction of small upgrades that really pack a lot into the actual price you will be asking for your house. An actual appraisal will also help you in negotiations as you will have proof and validation for the buyer on why the home is being placed at that price point.

All of this research can be put into perspective an asking price on your home.  You will have a better understanding of offers that are coming in and be able to counter offer with physical hard evidence.  This puts you in a great position as a seller.

 

The Countdown To Selling Your House: Step One

As an organizer and a constant planner being without a time line makes me crazy.  This is how I empathize with homeowners going through the process of selling their homes.  The task of selling your home is large and can be overwhelming especially when processing each and every detail needing to be addressed.

A real estate agent will be the one to lay down the timeline for selling your home.  They should also be the individuals with answers and solutions to keep your timeline on track. Of course, there will be blips along the way.  That is the nature of real estate however with an experienced agent in your corner you will be able to visualize each step throughout the journey and this will help decrease the stress that inevitably comes along with change.

The best time to meet with a local real estate agent is before you are ready to actually put the sign in the yard.  This will allow you time to get your ducks in a row before people are inspecting every inch of your home to see if it is worthy to be their next home.

About two months before you think you will be ready to put the house on the market there is a list of things to check into.   You will want to go over every inch of your current financial situation; get together a budget and see exactly where money is coming in and going out.  This is the time you will also process an estimate of expenses to list the house for sale verse the equity in your home.  This will be the amount available towards the purchase of the new home.  This is also the time to get all your important papers collects such as the homes title, mortgage and insurance paperwork.

Two months is also a good starting point to allow you to process the urgency in your move.  The more urgent the move is; say for job relocation, the more aggressively the list price will need to be.  If you have time and are moving to have more space then maybe you will be able to wait a bit longer for the right buyer at a higher price point.

The two month point is also the time to assess the homes condition.  It is the time to get the major and minor repairs done to make sure your home shows well and passes an inspection.  There are three basic problems homes have; cosmetic, functional and ones that can’t be fixed.

Cosmetic issues are items such as the color of the paint on the walls, nasty carpet or torn screens.  Functional repairs are those that might take some money but will help increase the value of the home.  Think about the appliances, roof, plumbing, electrical and main structural elements.  Eliminate the expensive reasons people will have when the inspection shows them.  There are also some problems that buyers will have that you can do nothing about such as the school district, the neighbors siding color or the traffic on the road.  Those will be issues the buyer will know exist and will have to take them or leave them.

This is the beginning of the home selling time line.  Two months is the perfect amount of time to get serious about selling your home and begin to look into local real estate agents for assistance in getting you and your house ready to sell.